#1067341
- Wed Jun 24 2009 09:18 AM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: the G-man]
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K-nutreturns
The Abyss
Registered: Wed May 25 2005
Posts: 12295
Loc: your bat cave
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i liked everything but the twins.
big_pimp_tim-made it cool to roll in the first damn place! Mon Jun 11 2007 09:27 PM- harley finally rolled with me "I'm working with him...he's young but, there is much potential. He can apprentice with me and then he's yours for final training. He will remember the face of his father... Some day, Knutreturns just may be the greatest of us all...."-THE bastard
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#1067342
- Wed Jun 24 2009 09:19 AM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: K-nutreturns]
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the G-man
Lawyers Guns & Money
Registered: Fri May 16 2003
Posts: 35833
Loc: the right
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#1067343
- Wed Jun 24 2009 09:24 AM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: the G-man]
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K-nutreturns
The Abyss
Registered: Wed May 25 2005
Posts: 12295
Loc: your bat cave
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no. those were quite nice. there were two black robots that made me shake my head everytime they were onscreen. besides that, lots of explosions, lots of robots beating the hell out of eachother, lots of hot chick walking or running in slow motion. pretty much all i could ask for.
big_pimp_tim-made it cool to roll in the first damn place! Mon Jun 11 2007 09:27 PM- harley finally rolled with me "I'm working with him...he's young but, there is much potential. He can apprentice with me and then he's yours for final training. He will remember the face of his father... Some day, Knutreturns just may be the greatest of us all...."-THE bastard
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#1067369
- Wed Jun 24 2009 11:30 AM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: K-nutreturns]
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Rob Kamphausen
cobra kai
Registered: Wed Oct 18 2000
Posts: 44703
Loc: in the dojo without fear
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
by Roger Ebert
- "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.
The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots, Deceptibots and Otherbots is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock. They share the film with human characters who are much more interesting, and that is very faint praise indeed.
The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed "The Rock" in 1996. Now he has made "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Faust made a better deal. This isn't a film so much as a toy tie-in. Children holding a Transformer toy in their hand can invest it with wonder and magic, imagining it doing brave deeds and remaining always their friend. I knew a little boy once who lost his blue toy truck at the movies, and cried as if his heart would break. Such a child might regard "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" with fear and dismay.
The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although--hello!--you can't outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!" The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire.
There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines. The two most inexplicable characters are Ron and Judy Witwicky (Kevin Dunn and Julie White), who are the parents of Shia LaBeouf, who Mephistopheles threw in to sweeten the deal. They take their son away to Princeton, apparently a party school, where Judy eats some pot and goes berserk. Later they swoop down out of the sky on Egypt, for reasons the movie doesn't make crystal clear, so they also can run in slo-mo from explosions.
The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense anyway, but two or three tangled up together create an incomprehensible confusion. I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with...fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples. They have tiny little heads, except for one who is so ancient he has an aluminum beard.
Aware that this movie opened in England seven hours before Chicago time and the morning papers would be on the streets, after writing the above I looked up the first reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian); "Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail); "A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, Todd Gilchrist of Cinematical, reported that Bay's "ambition runs a mile long and an inch deep," but, in a spirited defense, says "this must be the most movie I have ever experienced." He is bullish on the box office: it "feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time." It’s certainly the biggest something of all time.
Footnote 6/24: Does it strike you as a lapse of Pyramid security that no one notices a gigantic Deceptibot ripping off the top of the Great Pyramid? Not anyone watching on the live PyramidCam? Not even a traffic copter?
giant picture
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#1067401
- Wed Jun 24 2009 02:00 PM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: Ultimate Jaburg53]
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Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
Registered: Mon Dec 25 2000
Posts: 32286
Loc: Jacques Brel
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I thought there were a bunch of very funny moments ("Kill ze small one!"), but the endless action scenes and corny subplots (Shia isn't ready to say I love you - SPOILERS: he does at the end) did nothing for me. I'd just stare at Megan Fox whenever I could and try to think of something else.
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#1067404
- Wed Jun 24 2009 02:15 PM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk]
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Nöwheremän
Magic basement king
Registered: Mon Oct 08 2001
Posts: 47142
Loc: Fuckingham Palace!
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I just watched it and found it highly enjoyable, and genuinely funny!
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#1067433
- Wed Jun 24 2009 05:03 PM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: Nöwheremän]
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Joe Mama
Inglourious Basterd!!!
Registered: Wed May 14 2003
Posts: 27382
Loc: Deep Inside Red Sox Nation
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I just watched it and found it highly enjoyable, and genuinely funny!
Then again, you're Welsh. you find vowels funny. You try and slip "vowel movement" into everyday conversations. Such is your humor...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock 
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#1067444
- Wed Jun 24 2009 05:21 PM
Re: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen
[Re: Joe Mama]
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Nöwheremän
Magic basement king
Registered: Mon Oct 08 2001
Posts: 47142
Loc: Fuckingham Palace!
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